how to make Surprise Experimental Blueberry Frozen Yoghurt in approximately 17 Sontaneous Steps
1. Suffer miserably through another record-breaking heatwave. Climate change? - well isn't is obvious?
2. Wake up after the cool change has come through and have a meltdown, because it's so much easier to have a breakdown about something after the fact, rather than while you're busy coping with it.
3. Try to take it easy but end up feeling sick with over-exhaustion by evening. Become driven to distraction by a powerful craving for something, only you don't know what it is. Something to do with nutrients that the heat sucks out of you.
4. Go through every item in the kitchen, looking for whatever it is that you don't know what it is yet. Find a bag of frozen blueberries in the freezer. Oh, that's it. Or close enough.
5. Wonder what goes with blueberries while they are defrosting. Go through the kitchen again and come up with yoghurt, honey and linseed-sunflower-almond meal. Mix them together in a bowl.
6. Hmm. We're getting there, but it's not quite fabulous, and it's such a bugger to distribute honey in a really cold liquid.
7. Hit on the idea of freezing it - possibly influenced by a recent heatwave-induced ice-cream binge. Remember some recipes you read once about how to make ice-cream, and figure you're onto something. Stick the bowl in the freezer for 10 minutes just to get it firming up a little.
8. Get chatting on the phone and come back to the kitchen 50 minutes later. Discover that it's only just really cold, and still soft. Realise that this process is going to take a lot longer than you thought.
9. Put it back in the freezer.
10. Occupy yourself in the meantime by dusting, cleaning out and re-laying the main altar for the first time in aaayy-ges. (I don't know how this affects the yoghurt, but it's a good thing to do anyway.)
11. Pop back down to the kitchen after 20-30 minutes to discover that the blueberry mixture is now nicely firm but not quite frozen solid.
12. Chop the mixture in a criss-cross fashion with a sharp knife, like so.
13. Let it defrost a few minutes, then mash it up with a fork.
14. Repeat steps 9, 12 and 13 two or three more times.
15. Transfer mixture to freezer container. Lick the bowl because now you've decided that it's totally awesome.
16. Realise that it's after midnight, which means it's your birthday. Figure that you really should stick a candle on top of something. (Note - this step won't work most of the time. Consider it optional.)
17. Get creatively liberal with the concept of 'ice-cream cake' and take great artistic license in interpreting the prepositional phrase 'on top of' - it's all a matter of persepective.
2. Wake up after the cool change has come through and have a meltdown, because it's so much easier to have a breakdown about something after the fact, rather than while you're busy coping with it.
3. Try to take it easy but end up feeling sick with over-exhaustion by evening. Become driven to distraction by a powerful craving for something, only you don't know what it is. Something to do with nutrients that the heat sucks out of you.
4. Go through every item in the kitchen, looking for whatever it is that you don't know what it is yet. Find a bag of frozen blueberries in the freezer. Oh, that's it. Or close enough.
5. Wonder what goes with blueberries while they are defrosting. Go through the kitchen again and come up with yoghurt, honey and linseed-sunflower-almond meal. Mix them together in a bowl.
6. Hmm. We're getting there, but it's not quite fabulous, and it's such a bugger to distribute honey in a really cold liquid.
7. Hit on the idea of freezing it - possibly influenced by a recent heatwave-induced ice-cream binge. Remember some recipes you read once about how to make ice-cream, and figure you're onto something. Stick the bowl in the freezer for 10 minutes just to get it firming up a little.
8. Get chatting on the phone and come back to the kitchen 50 minutes later. Discover that it's only just really cold, and still soft. Realise that this process is going to take a lot longer than you thought.
9. Put it back in the freezer.
10. Occupy yourself in the meantime by dusting, cleaning out and re-laying the main altar for the first time in aaayy-ges. (I don't know how this affects the yoghurt, but it's a good thing to do anyway.)
11. Pop back down to the kitchen after 20-30 minutes to discover that the blueberry mixture is now nicely firm but not quite frozen solid.
12. Chop the mixture in a criss-cross fashion with a sharp knife, like so.
13. Let it defrost a few minutes, then mash it up with a fork.
14. Repeat steps 9, 12 and 13 two or three more times.
15. Transfer mixture to freezer container. Lick the bowl because now you've decided that it's totally awesome.
16. Realise that it's after midnight, which means it's your birthday. Figure that you really should stick a candle on top of something. (Note - this step won't work most of the time. Consider it optional.)
17. Get creatively liberal with the concept of 'ice-cream cake' and take great artistic license in interpreting the prepositional phrase 'on top of' - it's all a matter of persepective.
What could be a better birthday present than a cool change? To avoid saying "happy birthday" after our last conversation - I wish you love, cool weather, rain and good op shopping vibes!
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